Synopsis:
Audrey Rose Wadsworth and her partner-in-crime-investigation, Thomas Cresswell, are en route to New York to help solve another blood-soaked mystery. Embarking on a week-long voyage across the Atlantic on the opulent RMS Etruria, they’re delighted to discover a traveling troupe of circus performers, fortune tellers, and a certain charismatic young escape artist entertaining the first-class passengers nightly.
But then, privileged young women begin to go missing without explanation, and a series of brutal slayings shocks the entire ship. The disturbing influence of the Moonlight Carnival pervades the decks as the murders grow ever more freakish, with nowhere to escape except the unforgiving sea.
It’s up to Audrey Rose and Thomas to piece together the gruesome investigation as even more passengers die before reaching their destination. But with clues to the next victim pointing to someone she loves, can Audrey Rose unravel the mystery before the killer’s horrifying finale?
Review:
The show must go on!
Na mate, there are dead fucking bodies everywhere why the flying potato chip would we want to go see a show?
No seriously though. THERE ARE DEAD BODIES TURNING UP EVERYWHERE and everyone is going to see a show every night. I mean I thought I was into fucked up shit but these passengers take the cake. Was the author listening to ‘Dead Bodies Everywhere’ by Korn while she was writing this book?
Fucked up just hit a new level.
Side note though, did anyone else notice not only the tone of this book was different to the others but the overall story line sucked? I mean blue books are usually my jam, with butter and bread, but this was more like discoloured toilet paper than makes you nervous to wipe your ass.
Also Audrey and Thomas just fuck already. I am so over reading about you two practically making out over a dead body. Side note and totally inappropriate, but if you urban dictionary ‘munting’ I feel like that would be these two. On that side note, please for the love of fried shoe string fries do not look up that if you have a weak stomach.
Thomas – why are you a lame cow now? I mean the flock rejected you mate. So disappointed. Even the book gods are disappointed. Hear me out, I mean his whole personality charged. He full lost his wit and now thinks with this dick. His a dick wit.
Audrey. I feel as though she only has a few words and kind of has Groundhog Day everyday:
- wakes up and dressers pretty with all the ribbons, buttons and all that typical girly shit
- *dead body turns up* Oh no I’m shocked, I’m frozen in place. I can’t believe that every time I see a dead body I freak out like this. What is this the hundredth dead body I’ve seen?
- Oh no I’m performing an autopsy in fine dresses
- Oh Thomas how rude
- Oh Thomas let me sit on your face.
See where I’m going with this. Her personality is so repetitive that it actually shames me as a female. We have more than five thoughts a day – not Audrey though. She is legit a pumpkin head and has no brain, it’s just pumpkin seeds. Honestly if she actually ran, you could probably hear the pumpkin seeds rattling around in all the empty space that is her head.
I came to this conclusion over a few simple things.
The dresses. I get it. You have nice dresses and it great to have those details to add to the time period of the book. But her monologue of the dresses makes me look forward to the annual dentist visit, it’s the same bullshit. “This is lovely and lacy. On no my nice shoes are standing in blood again.” What do you give a shit about more? Solving the crime or the blood on your damn shoes woman??
Listen, this book does have a pretty cover though…..
Rating: 1/5
Publisher: Jimmy Patterson
ISBN 978036551694