Synopsis:

Audrey Rose Wadsworth and Thomas Cresswell have landed in America, a bold, brash land unlike the genteel streets of London they knew. But like London, the city of Chicago hides its dark secrets well. When the two attend the spectacular World’s Fair, they find the once-in-a-lifetime event tainted with reports of missing people and unsolved murders.

Will Audrey Rose and Thomas see their last mystery to the end—together and in love—or will their fortunes finally run out when their most depraved adversary makes one final, devastating kill?

This review may contain spoilers

Review:

Holy shit.

This was the worst book in the whole series!!! And I’m serious! I know in the previous book Audrey and Thomas were pretty much fucking over dead bodies on a boat but this was extremely worse and I’m not even lying. At no point, at the start of the book did I give permission to be continuously bitch slapped by their love. I SWEAR TO SATAN’S ASSHOLE the love in this book is completely and utterly over the top. Was this written for people with short term memory loss? Because that would be the only reason why their love needs to be announced ON EVERY GOD DAMN PAGE!!! What the actually fudge!!! Legit had to keep a bucket next to my reading chair to catch the romance vomiting.

Does the author think that we forget that they are madly in love? I honestly can see no excuse as to why it was on every single flippen page!!!

Minus the loved up writing (which leaves little left of the book, 95% sick romance and 5% actual plot) the rest of the plot was beyond predictable and so cliché, I feel like CTD was based off EVERY ROMANCE BOOK EVER PUBLISHED!!!! I don’t even know how many times I hit this book against my head in frustration and complete annoyance at how shitty this was. Worse than human shit. Maybe closely related to bird shit that spats all over your ice cream. I actually think this book was worse than ACOFAS and that in itself is bloody saying something, cause y’all know I fricken hated that!!!

Okay horrible love fucked writing aside, apparently all four books are based over 5 months…. SERIOUSLY!?! No one in the world at that time period would have been that fucking crazy busy in 5 months. And also can we touch base on the fact our two mental case love birds are getting married and have only known each other for 5 months!!!! I fucking hate this! Why do all female characters have to be married off to the first man they see? It happens in every single book, why can’t they just hang out, get a coffee, throw rocks at annoying little kids. I mean life is full of adventures, why do females have to be tied down and married so fucking early. And I get this was kinda how marriages worked in this time period but at the same time, they spent 5 months solving crimes and cutting up dead bodies, which leaves barely any other time to do anything else. GAHH

Also Audrey Rose. What a bloody potato! I feel like I would offer to pay for counselling for anyone that finds her inspirational, because she is constantly full of double standards and whinges more than fucking Trump. Pretty much the whole series she talks about being tough but in reality faints whenever a dead body us near, so I want to know if someone can explain it to me, how the bloody hell she thinks she can take on the killer when she is unarmed and requires a can to walk??? How is this even possible??

Another thing that kills me about this book is that there are two or three bodies at the start of the book and then 350 pages of fucked up love shit that makes you want to pull your eyes out and then all of a sudden there are dead bodies everywhere and they need to solve the crime. Literally, it was 350 pages of love and then all of a sudden there were hundreds of murdered people… STOP FUCKING BOUT AND SOLVE THE DAMN CRIME!

Can I add a side note of how all over the fucking shop this plot was??? Was the plot drunk? Who let this plot out of its cage and let it on a drunk wild fucking bear chase of the city. It was almost as though the author had ten different and un-relatable plots running around in her head and decided to merge them all together. Nothing about this plot was smooth, carried across well or realistically was significant to the end of the book!!

I once thought at Thomas Creswell was kinda cool and I could understand why bookworms liked him but I realised that he isn’t likeable. If he was in modern times, he would be that asshole that doesn’t listen to females when we say NO. He is that kind of annoying piece of shit that would be dry humping your leg because he honestly cannot get his mind out of the gutter. Thomas went from admiring Audrey to just plain wanting to fuck her. You go back and read all those ‘romantic’ notions that aren’t romantic in the slightest. Ya boy just wanted to get his dick wet, he doesn’t give a shit about anything else. It wasn’t ‘romantic’ it was plain old fucking creepy.

Also if we are putting these fictional characters in modern times, I think I can nail the kind of person Audrey would be, or at least in the Instagram world. Firstly, constantly talks about how unhappy she is or negative about herself, not cause she feels this way but because that damn bitch just want the attention. I swear to god, if I have to hear anything along the lines of how hard Audrey’s life is and how no one understands she likes to cut up dead bodies and dress in nice things all the time blah blah blah – this shit has been on repeat since book one and I don’t understand WHY THE HELL IT HASN’T STOPPED!! Audrey would also complain about the most insignificant little things that is just going to end the world. This actually grinds my gears because there are sooo many people out there they claim a hard life and how they struggle and blah blah blah. Have you seen the state of the rest of the world? There are countries at war, there are people dying of starvation and the wildlife are running out of homes to live, watching their families die AND ARE BCOMING EXTINCT but that’s okay you selfie sucking bimbo, you have a teary about how life is a little hard today because your morning coffee wasn’t that great or how your so broke but have holidays lined up. This would be Audrey in modern times. “Oh no the strap broke on my Gucci bag. This is sooo hard. Why are people staring at me? Can’t a person cry in the middle of the street over nothing?!?!” Can we get an eye roll over here?!

Writing that last paragraph makes me want to go and get Capturing the Devil and go back to hitting my head against it in anger. I also kind of think that Audrey in modern times would be drunk in the nightclub and think she is top shit by throwing her status around and then someone punches her really hard in the fucking face with a massive psychotic grin on their face. I would have that grin, I would punch her in the face. FYI – it would be soooo satisfying that not even Santa could top that!!

Why were trees cut down for this book? I swear that this is actually the worst read of 2019!! I cannot get over how fucking lame, pathetic and pointless this book was. I would rather wear pink fucking clothes for a year then read this shit again. What the actual fuck!!

Rating: 1/5

Publisher: Jimmy Books

ISBN: 9780316485548